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“The good news is – it’s triplets.”

It's Triplets!  GrowingUpTriplets.com #triplets #babiesA year ago today David and I received news that would change our lives.

We found out we were pregnant about a month earlier. And at the time I was 11 weeks along. David left early that morning for Cincinnati, OH for a conference he was leading. He wouldn’t be back until late Sunday. I was already in the throes of morning sickness, which of course knew no definition of time – keeping me up at night sometimes. I woke up and began to prepare to leave for work. I began to experience some bleeding and quickly called our wonderful midwife, Diane. She had done a quick check-up earlier that week and we had heard the heartbeat! But she was slightly concerned with the bleeding so she said she would order an ultrasound for me for as soon as possible – just to make sure everything was ok. I called David but had to leave a message as he was already in flight. Then I called my mom to see if she could take me to the appointment and to be with me, just in case something was wrong. Then I called work and told them I wasn’t going to be in the office today and to please pray. And I waited. I tried to trust God. I didn’t want to lose this baby. But whatever happened, I knew He was in control and was lovingly caring for me.

Diane called me back with the information about where to go for the ultrasound. Mom arrived. We headed to Lake Mary. We got lost. I was nervous. We found the plaza. I checked in and we waited. They called me back, mom came, too.

The technician was not a nice person, did not smile or make small talk. She didn’t try to reassure me. I was in there for an ultrasound to see how my baby was doing and she was very cold and impersonal. She told me they needed to do an internal US but I said no. After all, I didn’t even want to do an US in the first place because we were going to do this thing naturally – no drugs, no US, no doctors, no hospitals. The technician said that it was likely they wouldn’t be able to tell very much at all with the external exam since the baby would be so small. I asked her to please try anyway.

She began the exam by turning her monitor away from me so I couldn’t see a thing. She said this was because she needed to relay the information to my midwife who would then call me with the results. Both my mom and I were confused by this but I was too anxious to question Sergeant No-personality. Besides, I reasoned that I’d rather hear bad news from Diane than her, anyways.

Silence reigned. The room was freezing. My tiny tummy was covered with goo. My heart was pounding. I looked at the ceiling tiles. I wished David was not in Cincinnati. I prayed. I steeled myself for bad news. And then the technician spoke. “You said you had an appointment with your midwife this past Monday? And she heard the heartbeat?” I nodded yes while my heart sank. She must not see a heartbeat.

That’s ok, Jennifer, God is still sovereign. He knows. David, where are you? I want my bed. I don’t understand, Lord.

After what seemed like an eternity, she finished and said we could go out to the waiting room. The room was appropriately named. We waited. For hours. They kept telling us they had to get ahold of Diane before telling us the results. We later found out Diane was attending another birth. Meanwhile, David kept texting and calling me to check on me and find out what was taking them so long! And my mom and I made small talk. We talked about everything but neither of us listened to the other. All we could think was – why can’t they hurry up and tell us? Let’s just get it over with. Finally, as the office was closing, they decided to call us back anyway to tell us so we wouldn’t have to leave still wondering. All of a sudden, the Sergeant seemed a little nicer. Maybe she was excited to be going home soon? We waited in the exam room and then she brought the doctor in. He was an elderly gentleman with a folder in his hands…but that’s all I remember of him even though he was delivering very important information to me. He was five steps into the room, shook my hand and said:

“Well, the good news is – it’s triplets.”

Of course he was joking. My mind insisted this could not be possible even as my mother attacked me from the side with a hug, while jumping up and down. I told the doctor he was joking, told my mom he was joking, wondered why on earth she believed him and willed the feeling to come back into my suddenly numb body. The doctor began to explain how it was possible – that it was true. I have no idea what he said, only that I am glad for the chair that held me up. Everyone in the room was grinning. I was not. Shaking, yes. Grinning, no. I began to feel like Alice in Wonderland and just wanted everything and everyone to stop. Then the tears started coming. I couldn’t put thoughts or words together. I just knew that it was not possible and I didn’t want it to be possible.

The doctor left at some point and the technician, who was now grinning and as friendly as can be, told me to “hop back up on the table” and she’d show me some live pictures of my babies. I didn’t want to but at the same time, I was drawn to see what was going on in my womb. Sure enough, there were three. It was incredibly obvious and clear. There were three babies in three little homes. And David and I were going to have three babies. Three babies. Three babies. Triplets. Three babies.

My mom, who had not yet been able to contain her exuberance, began to explain what she’d been experiencing the entire day. During the earlier US, she angled her chair so she could see the monitor and sneakily saw the tech typing “Baby A” on the picture. She wondered why she would type that if there was only one…then she saw her type “Baby B”…and then “Baby C.” At that moment, the tech asked her infamous question about the doctor’s visit earlier that week and having heard “the” heartbeat. This question led me to believe that I was losing the baby, but it led my mom to believe that I was losing THREE babies. She let none of this show and kept calm the entire rest of the US. She never let on in the waiting room that she knew I had three babies inside me. She only wondered how on earth she was going to help me through learning there were three and that I’d lost them. I give major props to my mother for making it so long without letting on what she knew. Major, major props.

So we made our way back to the car where I anxiously called David who was even more anxiously awaiting my call. I dialed his number…but…how do I say it? How do I tell my husband that the one baby is three? I sat there. Finally, I dialed his number. I asked him if he was by himself. He said yes. I don’t remember the words I said, only that he didn’t believe me. He didn’t believe me for a long, long time. He thought we were kidding – that since I was with my mom that we cooked up this joke and thought it’d be funny. He didn’t think it was possible (who did?!). I couldn’t convince him. Twenty minutes later I was still trying. We were almost home by that point. Finally he made me text him a picture of the sonogram. It began to sink in that this was real – well, that plus asking me about 50 times if I was serious. Later he told me that he went numb and fell back in his chair. In his hotel room, in Cincinnati.

I have a wonderful husband. He spent the next few days encouraging me from afar, supporting me, praying with me, calming me and wondering with me. I often called him that weekend to tell him I couldn’t stop crying. I didn’t want three babies. Why was this happening to us? It wasn’t right! I can’t handle it! I felt like I was watching all of my dreams – lifelong dreams! – swirl down the drain and I was powerless to do anything about them. All I could see was hospitals, drugs and a dreaded c-section in my future. My desires to breastfeed, cloth diaper, and spend those Saturday mornings playing with our brand new baby on our bed – they all vanished. I envisioned Jon and Kate, Plus 8 and her big saran-wrapped belly and her angry words and Jon’s impatience and the screaming children. I assumed there would be no money to adopt our little girl from China – the one with whom I have a connection and a bond even though she hasn’t been born yet. And we probably wouldn’t have the ability to adopt our little African-American guy that we thought God had called us to. Gone. Everything I had planned, dreamed, wanted, desired, felt called to. I was angry, felt lonely and terrified. I remember feeling guilty and ashamed wondering if I’d lose one or two. I remember feeling like a freak – no one I knew had triplets. It just doesn’t happen. People have babies one at a time…mayyyyybe, two at a time. But three???

Yet through it all, David calmly reminded me – every day becoming more convinced himself, even as he struggled to fully understand – that God knew what He was doing.

And I’m happy to say, I can see now at least a part of what His plan was…because we have three beautiful, precious, scrumptious children that I wouldn’t trade for single births for the world. Or an easy pregnancy, or all those lazy Saturday mornings with one baby we’ve “missed out” on. Every bit of it was worth it and each baby is precious in His sight…and David and I think we’ll keep them.

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Comments

  1. djones@metrolife.org says:

    Thank you for taking the time to write all this down. It is an amazing story and one that shows how the Holy Spirit helps us in times of need. What we REALLY believe comes to light when we encounter circumstances beyond our control.

    It makes me respect your mom and husband all the more as well!

    • missytex says:

      Thank you, Danny! :) Do you remember “calling it” the day before? You only guessed twins, though. :)

  2. Hi! I came over after seeing you a few spots above me in the Circle of Moms voting! I totally got teary reading this. So excited to start following your blog!

    • missytex says:

      Hi Krystle!

      Thanks for reading! I look forward to reading your blog, too! I’m guessing you can relate to some of the emotions, huh?? :o)

  3. Seriously…I was in tears reading this…for many reasons…but the biggest was when you described your mom…and her sitting with what she saw…and felt…you have a great support system…cherish all the moments with your sweet kiddies…they are adorable. We serve a great God.

    • missytex says:

      Kenny, we DO serve a great God! I am so grateful for His care for us – rescuing us while we were dead to Him. Thank you for the living testimonies your family is!!

  4. Meghann says:

    I love hearing more and more of “your story” and all that God is doing in you and through you!! I’m so glad you are writing it out so I can keep up with you from a distance. Love you and your sweet family!

  5. Hi! Found your blog through MAM…I feel like you wrote my story, with a few minor details and I have twins, not triplets! So grateful for your story and how you are giving Jesus all the glory!

  6. Love this story and helps me remember while I read horror stories and about all the risks is that it is in God’s hands. Do you have any others about the pregnancy itself?

  7. Thank you so much for posting about the ultrasound and how you really felt. I had a similar situation at my ultrasound. I went in for an emergency ultrasound thinking I was having a miscarriage. Turns out, we didn’t lose a baby, we were pregnant with 4! I started hyperventilating and crying saying I can’t do this over and over again. (of course, that is the shortened version) I’m currently 14 weeks pregnant with triplets. Our second ultrasound revealed I had lost one. Thank you for this website, it helps me to know I’m not alone in this and not everyone feels “blessed” once you find out you are pregnant with 3 or 4.

    • Hi Kristy!

      Congratulations on your babies! And I am so sorry for your loss! I can only imagine the roller coaster you’ve been on with that last bit of news!

      I learned that many moms with multiples pregnancies go through a grieving stage. It sounded silly to me when I first read about it but it began to become a reality and make so much sense. Eventually the grief and disappointments were surpassed by joy and love. I still battle sadness at times for what I didn’t get to experience – how intense my life is on a daily basis rather than growing our family one at a time. But it’s what I would choose if I could do it all over again – I love it. :)

      The Lord has really helped me through so much of this internal turmoil, bringing a peace I desperately needed during those scary months.

      Looking forward to the birth of your sweet babies!!! :)

  8. What a neat story! We found out in early 2010 that we were going to have twins (something that does not run in either side of our families). We were shocked and to this day, can’t remember the first six months of their lives outside the womb, but we wouldn’t trade it for anything. They are now nearly 4 (next month!) and it has been a joy to have them (boy/girl). What precious babes you have…love the photos! A true joy and definate blessings from the Lord! :)

  9. Thank you immensely for sharing this story. I am 14 weeks with triplets and even though my husband and I are so so thankful I have felt incredibly guilty for “not wanting 3″. It’s so reassuring to hear I’m not the only one to think this. I’m just scared but hopeful that I am doing absolutely everything in my power to keep my babies safe while they are in me. My babies (and all babies) are miracles and my husband and I feel so blessed to be trusted with their lives. Even though the news of multiples is hard to swallow we are so thankful we were chosen for this. God bless your family!!

    • Hi Sarah! Congratulations on your babies! :) Since we’ve had our babies, we have often heard “Oh, I wish I could have twins,” or “I always thought it’d be great to have triplets.” How challenging to hear when working through being thoroughly thankful that *YOU* have been given this great gift with such magnitude! :) So I wanted other MoMs to know that they weren’t alone in feeling guilty if they weren’t immediately over the moon. I’m so glad it encouraged you! <3

      If you are planning to breastfeed, I've written an easy-to-read-on-bed-rest :) ebook on "how-to." Send me an email (info at growinguptriplets dot com) if you'd like a coupon code! http://growinguptriplets.com/product/breastfeeding-twins-triplets-more/

      God bless!!

Trackbacks

  1. […] “The good news is – it’s triplets.” – how we found out there were THREE babies. […]

  2. […] I’ve had several moments like these. Most recently, was when I learned that I was carrying triplets. The world around me stopped and life as I knew it – life as I’d hoped, planned and dreamed it – was shattered. (The Good News Is – It’s Triplets) […]

  3. […] back to our series on the Benefits of Breastfeeding Baby! When I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. I knew it was good for baby. I began to realize just how good it […]

  4. […] When we found out we were having triplets, I got everything my hubby and I had in boxes down to one hope chest! I knew were in for an onslaught of…stuff. […]

  5. […] was still working when I found out I was pregnant. Every day that I had to say goodbye to a pair of pants, a skirt, a blouse or a dress, was a […]

  6. […] I write here about growin’ up our triplets! Yes, they were a total surprise. They…well, here’s the story of how we found out. And here’s my favorite story – their Birth Day. […]

  7. […] It’s so bizarre. It seems like just yesterday I was finding out there wasn’t one baby, but three. The pregnancy dragged on like a root canal. And then the first year was a blur – a wonderful […]

  8. […] I’ve had several moments like these. Most recently, was when I learned that I was carrying triplets. The world around me stopped and life as I knew it – life as I’d hoped, planned and dreamed it – was shattered. (The Good News Is – It’s Triplets) […]

  9. […] wooden spoons have gotten chipped (seriously, they look like one of the babies took a bite out of them!), and I have gotta get some new […]

  10. […] is more than one baby growing inside the womb! I lost all feeling when the doctor announced, “Well, the good news is – it’s triplets!” My hubby doesn’t even remember sitting […]

  11. […] you’re lying there with goop on your belly, nervous and excited, and the technician says, “There’s three!” Three […]

  12. […] funds these days, so big and awesome gifts aren’t realistic right now. The hubby and I found out we were expecting triplets 13 months into marriage. We celebrated one “normal” Valentine’s Day…and the […]

  13. […] shock. Some women may grieve the things they might’ve experienced with a singleton pregnancy – I did! It was so odd to feel so sad when God had given me such an enormous blessing. But I struggled with […]

  14. […] lives, right? Our bodies change. We get older. We gain weight. We lose weight. We have a baby (or multiple babies at once!). We have busy seasons. And we have sad seasons. Over the course of our lives, physical intimacy […]

  15. […] admit: I fall into the first category. And not just because I had triplets! I wanted to know what was safe, what wasn’t and how to grow a healthy baby (or, in my case, […]

  16. […] one place for 30+ years and marry the first man I ever dated. I also never thought I would become pregnant with triplets. Oh, what a surprise! And how I wish I had known more about how to have a healthy pregnancy with […]

  17. […] The day I learned my husband and I were expecting spontaneous triplets was one of the most memorable days of my life. I had a deep desire to birth any babies we were blessed with – naturally. I had a midwife, we were planning a home birth. I wanted to breastfeed.  […]

  18. […] the triplets‘ first Christmas, we gave them The Jesus Storybook Bible (by Sally Lloyd-Jones). I had read […]

  19. […] It’s true! This time around we will get to experience a singleton and I am pretty excited. Finding out we were having triplets was the shock of our lives so this time we got an ultrasound at 8 weeks. I wanted to be able to […]

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