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The Place of Choosing

In yesterday’s post (5th in the ½ marathon blog challenge with CMBA) I promised to share something my hubby says that makes my anger melt away. So, here it is! David wrote and vowed the following to me on our wedding day:

“With the help of the Holy Spirit, I promise to recognize when we’re fighting over sin and not against sin.”

When I heard this, I was standing with him – hands in his – and looking into his eyes. I was happy. The air was charged with excitement and life-altering promises awaited us. Those words seemed romantic at worst and poetic at best. They invigorated me. I felt ready to charge into battle with my new husband, equipped to fight any sin that might invade our happy lives. Surely, with words like these vowed, we would conquer anything that was to come!

Two years and some odd months later, the smell of burning food, crying babies and food crunched through on the floor make it far more of a challenge to remember our desire to fight against sin instead of fighting over it. The way our money these days has a tendency to disappear, our sleep is interrupted by a teething baby, or dreams and goals don’t seem to align themselves… lead us to a place of choosing . And too often I find myself contending against my husband. Too often we are on opposite sides of the battleground, wearing different colors and flying different flags. We have our own agendas, our own desires that are being conflicted with. And those words, vowed not too long ago, are too easily forgotten.

Caring for small children is a joy but also provides so many opportunities for David and me to fight against sin.

I know I said this series would be practical and easy to remember. And admittedly this is a far less tangible “tip” than most we are sharing. It will require some creativity, thoughtfulness and effort to practice. But it is probably the most crucial one we offer. If we don’t recall this in the moment – our need to fight against sin, rather than over it – then all those sleepless nights fighting over how to deal with a screaming baby will end with us further apart than when we first laid down to sleep. The tension built up over a lost job, a tantrum-ing pre-toddler, a broken vehicle, an overflowing toilet or a bug infestation …all of those opportunities to fight together are missed.

Of course, you and I know that we serve a great, BIG God who is able to accomplish far more than we could ask or imagine. Which means He will help us; He will bring to our memory the fact that we desire to honor Him through fighting together to conquer our Enemy. And He will help us in choosing the correct response in the heat of the moment. The scope of this process is beyond the purpose of this particular post, but stick around for a few more posts and I’ll share an amazing resource from which David and I are both receiving much encouragement in this fight against sin. In the meantime, I think I’ll jot that part of David’s vows on a notecard and tape it over our coffee maker…we spend a lot of morning-moments there pouring coffee and reheating. Who knows how many fights and arguments may be diffused tomorrow by our remembering that we are in this together – to fight against sin?

Day 6 of the marriage blog challenge from CMBA. To see other CMBA bloggers, click here.


  1. […] The Place of Choosing (fighting together against sin) […]

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