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It’s Not {Just} About Porn

There’s been a lot about porn here, lately. You can read Alisha’s story of a marriage ruined and restored here and here. Jessica’s story “How Three Minutes Changed My Life” has impacted so many. Luke shared some serious statistics on just how common is porn in the church. And I recently gave away an entire year of internet accountability (though the giveaway is over, you can still get your first month absolutely free).

Geesh, lighten up a little! Such a downer…

It's Not {Just} About Porn  |    www.GrowingUpTriplets.com

Actually, I know. This is pretty heavy stuff. But here at Growing Up Triplets, we aren’t afraid to talk about stuff that goes against the grain. =)

And I truly don’t believe it’s just about the porn. It’s about our hearts: the state of our hearts.

What we watch, listen to, read, think upon and desire can often yield temptations. These temptations, once acted upon, can become sin patterns. And these sin patterns can invite other temptations to other sins. If we’re weakened and already giving in to some temptations, imagine how easy it will be to give in to (and how difficult to fight!) other temptations.
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So while porn isn’t the only focus of this series, I believe it can be a gateway into many other temptations. And unfortunately, this particular gateway is available to almost every child, every teen, every wife, every husband, every pastor, every single person…everyone everywhere.

If you’re alive right now, the question is not “if you’ll come in contact with porn,” but “when you’ll come in contact with porn.”

Which means we do need to take it seriously. If you’re sitting here reading this, please don’t assume this gateway hasn’t already found its way into your home. Fellow believers, I’m chatting with you, by the way.

  • To assume that our children aren’t struggling in some way with sexual sin would be foolish.
  • To assume that our spouse isn’t tempted in some way with sexual sin would be foolish. (Proverbs 14:18)

Why would I make such outrageous claims about our precious children and our spouses?? Because the heart is deceitful and wicked above all things. And we have an enemy seeking to devour us. And porn is easily accessible.

Where Porn Goes from Here

Those who have been ensnared by porn will tell you that it doesn’t satisfy for long. It creates a desire for more: for bigger thrills. The mind and heart are continually opened to more.

And the pit gets deeper.

  • Sex-trafficking.
  • Anonymous sexual encounters.
  • Prostitution.
  • Abuse.
  • Homosexuality.
  • Depression.

All of these can be, and often are, results of becoming entrapped by pornography. And with statistics like these, it should be very much on the forefront of our minds as we seek to be Gatekeepers for our families.

The {Very} Good News

Of course, as dangerous as sexual sin is – and as devastating as sexual brokenness is – Christ’s finished work on the Cross is greater! If we belong to Christ, our identity is not found in this world but in the Personhood of Him and what He has accomplished for us. We are no longer slaves to sin; we do not need to live in the captivation of an addiction any longer!

Yeah, I’ve tried that. I just can’t stop.

I get it. I understand. I have been there: sin is really, really enticing and very good at drowning out all other still, small voices.

This is why we need the help of others, regardless of our struggles (porn, anger, masturbation, depression, same-sex attractions, adultery). We need the Church. We need transparency and accountability.

And we need conversations.

A friend said it this way in a recent post entitled, Beating Porn to the Punch: 3 Tips for Talking to Young Kids About Sex, “The last thing my sons need is my silence about sex.”

I wanted to jump out of my seat: he gets it!

  • It saddens me when I hear parents more concerned with their young children hearing about an event on biblical sexuality from the pulpit than they are about what songs their children hear or which video games or movies they watch.
  • It saddens me when I hear a guy in the ministry saying that someone needs to “just stop” watching porn.

Neither of these approaches are fostering conversations or accountability. Both lack an understanding of the culture and the draw to sex, the prevalence of sexual brokenness.

But we can change this. We can talk to our kids (early!) about sex and porn and why “those guys over there are holding hands” and how strong the desire will be to “go a little further”…and how Jesus provides the strength to fight temptation. And how He gives us tools like the Church, the Holy Spirit, internet accountability and His Word.

And when we need help, we can get it!

Our families do not have to be more statistics. You with me?

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