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How to Talk About Homosexuality with Christian Teens

Homosexuality. Did I get your attention? I’m sure I did and I’m sure you dread figuring out how to talk about homosexuality with your teens. Maybe you’re thinking, “If talking with my teen(s) about sex wasn’t already hard enough, now I’ve got to add this to the conversation?” Yes, absolutely. 

How to Talk About Homosexuality with Christian Teens   www.GrowingUpTriplets.com   #teens

Even if your teen has been “sheltered” from public school exposure, it’s almost impossible to protect them from the pro-homosexual advancement of our current cultural climate. Not just homosexuality, but sexuality in general isn’t just tolerated anymore: it’s celebrated. Everywhere you turn, teens are encouraged to explore their sexuality and discover who they are, what gender they’d like to be, and what gender they’re attracted to. 

Trust me, regardless of your teen’s (and pre-teen’s) age, they are aware of and probably even more curious about this topic than you are. I’ve had the opportunity to speak with packed classrooms and auditoriums of college students across the nation who were hungry for an authentic and unashamed discussion about homosexuality from a biblical perspective. I believe it’s imperative that parents keep an open dialogue with their teens about biblical morality.

As it relates to the topic at hand, here is some practical advice to beginning and continuing the conversation about homosexuality with your teen.  

How to Talk About Homosexuality

Evaluate Your Relationship

What sort of relationship have you established with your son or daughter? Hopefully, you have a close relationship where they will listen to, and respect, you. If not, evaluate if you’re the right person to have this conversation with your son or daughter at this time. Would it be helpful to invite someone else like your spouse, brother, sister, son in law, daughter in law, pastor, or trusted mentor with whom they would be more comfortable to come alongside you?

Ideally, this would just be a 1 to 1 conversation, or both parents speaking with the teen at the same time. However, that’s not always possible given some situations. If you are in a situation where you’re confident your teen would not listen to or respect your convictions on this topic, then ask for help from others. This doesn’t mean you just abdicate your role as parent and pawn your teen off on someone else. Stay involved and engaged in the conversation by following up with your son or daughter after they have met with this trusted family member, friend, or mentor. Encourage them to always feel welcome to come to you with any questions they may have about this topic or anything else. Show them that you’re not afraid of entering their world regardless of what questions they may have or with what they may be struggling.  Even if you don’t know all the answers, you can always let them know that you’re willing to help them find the answers.       

Prepare

Pray. That’s always a good place to start. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom, patience, and discernment in effectively ministering to your teen.  

Research. In my opinion, there are limited online resources on homosexuality from a solid, biblical perspective. Even “Christian” online media and books can be deceiving. So, I am providing a few recommended links here to help you at least get a good foundation to begin with:

These articles, books, and videos can provide greater insight regarding homosexuality and our current culture.

Be comfortable and confident

If your teen senses that you’re not comfortable talking about this topic, you will lose credibility with them. Even if you experience resistance, due to the awkwardness of this topic or their differing beliefs from yours, push through. More than likely, they have friends who either openly accept gay people or are gay identified. This generation seems to interpret any differing perspective on homosexuality other than complete acceptance as hateful and intolerant. Don’t let them escape the conversation so easily. Ask them questions that will help you gain a better perspective of their understanding and personal connection to this issue. Display for them what true tolerance and dialogue looks like. Graciously share your convictions regarding personal beliefs about and connection(s) to homosexuality. Is there someone in your life who you care about and is gay identified?

It is very important for both parents to be in agreement on and incorporate the family’s core beliefs as it relates to this and other hot topics. Be prepared to convincingly explain why these beliefs and values are important for your family. Explain the fullness of God’s grace in how He cares about people either resisting or embracing a gay identity along with the power of the gospel that transforms us all. This might be a great opportunity to discuss your own temptation to go along with the flow of our culture, where you’ve experienced resistance from people whose beliefs differ from yours and how the Lord has revealed His truth to you in those moments. Where have you failed or succeeded in your own responses to and with others?

Engaging with People, Sharing the Hope

As I stated before, we can’t protect our teens from the immorality of this culture. However, we can equip them to gracefully engage people and advance the hope of the gospel in the midst of an ever-growing, anti-biblical culture. Don’t be discouraged if things don’t go well, especially at first.  Trust that the Lord will honor your desire to honor and glorify Him in helping shape the worldview of this next generation.

What questions do you have on how to talk about homosexuality with your teen?

photo credit: orangeacid via photopin cc

About David Fountain

Husband and father of three, David enjoys helping others. Since the Holy Spirit propelled him to confess and open up to a friend and counselor over 15 years ago, he has been walking in freedom and seeking to honor God with integrity, purity and holiness. He enjoys seeing others experience the freedom Christ has for them. When he’s not meeting with others, you can find David playing with his kiddos or assisting people in finding their next home. He has been married to Jennifer for nearly four years and is the proud father to the triplets.

Comments

  1. Thanks David,

    Interesting read in light of the recent discussion sparked by the interview of Phil Robinson of Duck Dynasty fame. A couple of observations I would like to make about your article;

    (1) I couldn’t tell what your definition of “solid, biblical perspective” was from the article (this may have been by choice)… Perhaps you might consider giving some context to the readers so we can determine the ‘angle’ you are coming from…

    (2) Your statement “If your teen senses that you’re not comfortable talking about this topic, you will lose credibility with them.” seems a bit black & white… There are many issues I feel uncomfortable with when talking with my teens.. That doesn’t mean they loose credibility with me… The reality is that as parents we need to be as honest and transparent in all of our lives so that our children learn how to TRUST us not through our words but importantly our actions.

    Anyway, thanks for taking the time to write this article..

    Bless you!

    Russ

  2. Do you have any suggestion for a short video for teens on this subject

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