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How Should Porn be Handled in the Church?

Pornography is a problem everywhere, for sure. But how should porn be handled in the church? How should it be dealt with in the community of believers, the household of faith? For many, the answer is simple: Do nothing. Say nothing. Don’t give anybody any ideas, for goodness’ sake! (Interested to see just how common porn is in the church?)

How Should Porn be Handled in the Church?  GrowingUpTriplets.com #addiction #Christian #help

It seems like the only strategy local pastors, youth leaders, children’s ministry workers, biblical counselors and small group leaders have is to wait until someone brings the subject up before anything can be said. Unless, of course, you do a special sermon or seminar on the subject to educate and equip your church members in the fight against the horrors of pornography from time to time. But even in those settings, we pastors feel like we have to be careful about what we say or about how much detail we can get into.   

WE CAN’T SAY “THAT” IN PUBLIC!

The church is a public place. We need to be careful what we say with “little ears” listening, don’t we? Parents in many churches don’t appreciate the pastor making references to things like human trafficking, masturbation, sexting, abortion, prostitution, adultery, lust, etc. because they then feel the pressure to explain what the pastor was talking about to their children. Families that have their children in private school or homeschool can hope that by doing so they will avoid their children hearing about sex “like they do in the public school system.”

The concerns are valid but the culture has changed dramatically in recent years.  

THE BATTLE IS WON OR LOST ONE-ON-ONE!

There are legitimate hindrances to dealing with issues of sexuality in a classroom setting or a Sunday sermon. However, one-on-one, the opportunities are endless. You might find that even youth that don’t want to hear much about obedience, respect, how grades affect college, or self discipline are actually very attentive to most anything dealing with sex! The same goes for young adults and the more mature as well. Unless you’re too old for any of this to matter anymore, you’ve got a captive audience!

Personal, honest, biblically-centered conversations make a huge difference in the effect pornography and sexual perversion will have on an individual. If all we do is try to keep our kids or friends from doing something we consider sinful, stupid and harmful, we’ll find ourselves frustrated and disappointed.

Opening up honestly to the real issues that are involved in pornography points people to the place where freedom can, and will!, be found – the finished work of Jesus Christ on the cross and the overcoming power of our resurrected Lord.

What’s the answer within the church? I would make a simple recommendation:

Talk about it.

Build relationships with those around you, including your children, where you can share with each other without fear of rejection or self-righteous judgement. This series is designed to help you do just that.

Sermons, seminars and personal counseling are all part of the answer but the one-on-one, the personal interaction, the honest, humble sharing of your own battles with sin of this kind and others, will form an arsenal of weapons that will overcome this dreaded foe!

Sin is no match for the grace of God!

How should porn be handled in the church, do you think?

The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality

About Danny Jones

Danny pastors at Metro Life Church, the church he founded nearly 30 years ago. He and his wife, Melodye, have been married for over three decades. They have four children and seven grandchildren - and number 8 is on his way!

Comments

  1. Thank you for this post! For years I have been struggling to keep my mouth shut when it comes to “sensitive” issues not being addressed by the church. When will parents – Christian ones specifically – wake up from this delusion that if you don’t talk about it, don’t acknowledge it, that our kids won’t be introduced to it? That our husbands, fathers, brothers, mothers, sisters and daughters aren’t susceptible to being seduced? WAKE UP! They probably already have been. If parents teach their children, instruct them and take the fear/curiosity out of these issues, the less likely they are to fall into its grips. If men and women are held accountable by their spiritual brothers and sisters, we will be as iron sharpening iron. I’ve been seeking a church like this my entire life. One that will focus on day-to-day living as a Christian and not settle for lazy spirituality.

    • Thanks for sharing, Danielle! Email me if you’d like more info on my group of churches – we are so grateful for the boldness to speak the truth in love we’ve found here. :)

    • Danielle, I hope it was clear from my short article, I agree with you!!! I have 4 children of my own and it seems to me that its my responsibilty as a parent to expose them to the lies of the evil one and then
      make the contrast between that and the glorious Gospel. Then, when the church “backs me up” by being honest about the very real temptations and allure of the world, its so very, very helpful.

      May we, as pastors, be found faithful!

  2. Danny, I appreciate you taking a look at this issue and not turning a blind eye to it. You are correct in the statement that publicly stating all the issues is not always the best course. I have been at the receiving end of that lack of sensitivity from the pulpit. However, I do feel that these sensitive subject matters can be addressed from the pulpit if there is fair warning to the parents of the sensitive subject matter.

    I am the wife of a porn addict who loves the Lord and I am very aware of the hold it has on many men and women. Something to be aware of is that pornography has the same effect on the brain that heroin does so you are dealing with a very real “chemical” addiction. If you’ve not heard of the ministry Pure Desire, I would encourage you to look into it. Also, discipleship of the middle school boys and girls in your church will go a long way. The largest consumer of pornography is 12-17 year old boys.

    Like you, and Danielle your first commenter, parents need to understand the very real danger of this and explain to their children that it is just like taking drugs. They need to be informed and not stick their head in the sand that it is not a problem in the church. The statistics are staggering!

    My encouragement for you, be aggressive to expose this stealthy killer in your body of believers and have a recovery system in place before breaking the dam open. There is Pure Desire, Celebrate Recovery, and Redemption Groups to name a few successful programs that are in place and working in many churches over the world.

    God Bless you!

    • Hi H.A.!

      Thanks for sharing! I’m sure Danny will chime in when he can. :) But I wanted to clarify that his intent was not that these matters shouldn’t be addressed from the pulpit. He pastors the church I’ve attended for nearly 20 years and I can attest to the boldness my pastors have in sharing on these matters. Knowing Danny, his heart would be for these conversations to *also* be taking place in the home – between parents and kids.

      And you’re right – the church needs to be a safe haven for those who are struggling with this issue. If not within the church, where else will they find Hope and Help? I hope you and your husband have been able to find a church body where this is the case!

      Thanks for sharing!! <3

    • Thank you HA! I have not been aware of the resources you listed but I look forward to researching them. We need all the help we can get!

      May the family and the church prove to be two of the most effective and powerful “weapons” against this evil!

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