It was such a delight to be able to interview Tim and Barbara Lane for this series! I worked with them briefly a few years ago and was impacted by their genuine love for others that was obviously a result of their love for Christ. I wanted so badly for you guys to be able to also hear their heart for the church – how we can live out helping others, and even help our own hearts!, in this sticky journey called “parenthood.”
Join me for this 4-part conversation with the Lanes – I think you’ll truly be encouraged to find what parenting biblically can look like!
Helping Others – What Does this Mean?
Jennifer: Tim and Barbara, thank you so much for sharing with us your thoughts for helping others! Could you share your background and how you and your family came to be so involved with helping others?
Barbara: I am wife to Tim and mother to Hannah (23), Tim (20), Kathryn (17) and Ben (15). Tim and I have been in ministry together since we met. Serving in a college ministry, marrying in 1989 while he was in seminary, 10 years as pastor and wife at Clemson Presbyterian in South Carolina and 13 at CCEF in Philadelphia…over a quarter of a century! It is my pleasure and joy to share a little of what God has graciously taught me through my experience as a mother. I had many good mentors including my own mother and grandmothers, as well as women in our church who walked alongside and encouraged me.
Jennifer: What does it actually mean to “help others” in a biblical sense?
Barbara: God is clear in his direction to serve and help others. He provided the ultimate act of service by sacrificing his Son on the Cross so that we could walk in a restored relationship with him as believers. It is our call to help and be merciful to others out of our understanding of Christ’s taking our place in his death and resurrection. In light of that, I think I Thessalonians 5:14 is a nice summary of what it looks like to help others. We are to “warn the wayward”, “encourage the fearful”, and “help the weak.” Our ministry to others is always guided by what they need at the moment. I can honestly say that this passage has helped me with each of our children since they need different kinds of help in each and every situation.
Jennifer: Would this look differently in the parent/child or parent/teen relationship than in a peer relationship?
Tim: As human beings in need of grace, Scripture is clear that we are to serve and to love others out of the mercy that has been shown to us. This applies to all of our relationships. The Bible is also specific about the unique call of a parent. Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 22:6, Colossians 3:20-24 are just a few verses that come to mind. Being a parent is a daily opportunity for growth in grace…both for me as a father and for my family. In fact, I can remember daily instances over the years where God was using a struggle/difficulty with a child to show me my own need for grace. The only real difference in your relationship with your children is that God has placed you in a position of authority. That means that as parents, we must be very careful and loving as we exercise that authority. In Scripture, authority is always to be used to minister grace to someone. It is never tyrannical or abusive. Jesus was given authority by his Father to “lay down his life for the sheep (John 10).” Now that is a radical view of authority!
Join me next week when Tim and Barbara will talk about every parents’ concern that their teen doesn’t become a “bad kid!”
- Covenant Eyes
- Parenting board
- The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality, by Luke Gilkerson
- Sex Before Marriage: How Far is Too Far, by Tim Lane