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A Girl Who Struggled with Porn: Breaking Free from a Cardboard Prison

If you've missed the first part of Jessica's story, be sure to read it here. Through tears, I looked up at the dean from my seat in the second row and said, "Do I have to?" She seemed shocked, "Yes." I looked down at those sheets of paper and thought about what she had said moments before, "We know some of you struggle with pornography and masturbation." I'm not alone. I'm not a freak. Other people struggle with this, too! Even with that hope, I struggled to write it down. I wanted something more 'Christian' like "loving my neighbor, or reading my Bible more." After all, weren't those important? I wouldn't technically be lying. That battle seemed to rage for hours, though … [Read more...]

A Girl Who Struggled with Porn – Who Happened to be a Christian

In the first part of my story (How Three Minutes Changed My Life), I shared a small part of my journey as a young woman struggling with a porn addiction. I was caught and told that it couldn't have been me because 'women just don’t have this problem.' I gave up after that, and decided that even though I was a Christian, even though I grew up in the church, even though I was attending a Christian college and wanted to live for God, I had no other choice but to become an adult actress. In the fall of 2003, at the age of 17, I sent pictures to a complete stranger. A Girl Who Struggled with Porn - Who Happened to be a Christian Oddly, enough, that was a form of confession, for me. More … [Read more...]

How Should Porn be Handled in the Church?

Pornography is a problem everywhere, for sure. But how should porn be handled in the church? How should it be dealt with in the community of believers, the household of faith? For many, the answer is simple: Do nothing. Say nothing. Don't give anybody any ideas, for goodness' sake! (Interested to see just how common porn is in the church?) It seems like the only strategy local pastors, youth leaders, children's ministry workers, biblical counselors and small group leaders have is to wait until someone brings the subject up before anything can be said. Unless, of course, you do a special sermon or seminar on the subject to educate and equip your church members in the fight against the … [Read more...]

When Fear Becomes Our Motivator – The Swinging Pendulum of Parenting

When you hear the word “Gatekeepers” what do you picture? I imagine a scene from the Wizard of Oz where all the monkeys are standing guard determined to keep out intruders. Yo-Ee-Yo-O-O-Oh...It’s scary and intimidating. A good thing when it comes to the evil that the Bible refers to as “crouching at the door,” (Genesis 4:7). But we mustn’t treat our children as if they are the evil ones when it may be that they are being tempted. And yet it is all too easy to respond this way when fear becomes our motivator. "What-Ifs" with Children ---> Fear Becomes Our Motivator Most of us are tempted to fear when we discover our children are being tempted to sin or have sinned. We imagine all … [Read more...]

6 Groups of People Porn Harms the Most

Let's play a game. It's called Word Association. I'll say a word, you tell me what it makes you think of - ready? Macaroni. (Cheese?) Lawn. (Mower?) Porn... Did you think "guys?" I did! At least, I used to. Porn Isn't Just for the Dudes It wasn't too long ago that I thought porn was something only guys struggle with. Now I know much differently. Porn can be a huge struggle for just about any age demographic, either gender, any ethnicity, etc. It's not a struggle relegated just to the guys. And because of this, the havoc porn wreaks is growing. Porn has become so easily accessible and can be found without even trying - many children are discovering porn at earlier and … [Read more...]

Your Darkest Secrets…

Imagine sharing the deepest part of your soul - online. For all the world to see. And share. Imagine not being able to control people's thoughts of what you share - whether they agreed or disagreed, understood or misunderstood, had pity or compassion. Darkest Secrets and Stories Shared For many of the authors in the Gatekeepers series, the story(ies) they share is a part of their testimony. As in, it has occurred in the past - God has brought them through, up and out of the pit. Their reasons for sharing are varied. For some, they felt alone in their struggles and satan used that, fed that feeling and kept them struggling for far too long. Some share their stories for a living - … [Read more...]

What’s the Big Deal About Porn?

“I don’t see what the problem is.  I’m not hurting anyone.” What's the Big Deal About Porn? It’s a statement that sums up the thought process of many who watch pornography.  After all, it’s better than actually going out and sleeping with someone, right?  As a teenager, I believed that thought process.  I thought that purity only encompassed my virginity.  As long as I maintained that status, I was good.  Pornography, in my very immature teenage opinion, was just a harmless form of release for pent up sexual tension, a safe place to sexually explore without the worry of bodily harm, STDs, or unplanned pregnancy. The lie is that pornography is harmless, … [Read more...]

It’s Not {Just} About Porn

There's been a lot about porn here, lately. You can read Alisha's story of a marriage ruined and restored here and here. Jessica's story "How Three Minutes Changed My Life" has impacted so many. Luke shared some serious statistics on just how common is porn in the church. And I recently gave away an entire year of internet accountability (though the giveaway is over, you can still get your first month absolutely free). Geesh, lighten up a little! Such a downer... Actually, I know. This is pretty heavy stuff. But here at Growing Up Triplets, we aren't afraid to talk about stuff that goes against the grain. =) And I truly don't believe it's just about the porn. It's about our hearts: … [Read more...]

How Common Is Porn in the Church?

“Porn doesn’t have a demographic—it goes across all demographics.” – Paul Fishbein, founder of Adult Video News Porn is a human problem. It is not just a man problem. It is not just a teen problem. It is not just a problem “out there.” Porn impacts all types of people—Christians and non-Christians—for two basic reasons. First, porn is everywhere. It can be accessed easily, sometimes without intentionally looking for it, thanks to the ubiquity of high speed Internet connections, smartphones, and wi-fi. Second, people are sinful. Attraction to porn goes across all demographics, and for many of us, it is a style of sinful pleasure that easily ensnares us. Porn by the Numbers Let’s … [Read more...]

The Booby Trap

It's no secret that I'm a fan of breastfeeding...and now I'm a fan of extended breastfeeding. =) It is probably my most favorite-est accomplishment in all my life - to teach three babies how to breastfeed and be doing so still at 17 months! You may remember my post on Covenant Eyes' blog last year: P*rn. Well, Luke (CE's blog manager) and his wife Trisha are the authors over at Intoxicated On Life and are currently in the middle of a series on breastfeeding. I'm sosososo excited about it because this information is so needed! Through a variety of contributing authors, they are addressing a massive amount of topics and information each week - from latch issues to myths to … [Read more...]